Fiction: Someone to Watch Over Me Part 5

Jaxx's life had become a whirlwind of flights between his home in Texas, and his heart in Maryland. He was torn that he couldn't be with Javier full time as he was recovering at Walter Reed, but he still needed to maintain his job and mortgage. They had been pushing the doctor's to release Javi to the Center for the Intrepid. That it was located in San Antonio, the city he lived and worked in was definitely a bonus.

He was bone tired, and having Javi closer would make things a little bit easier. He loved Javier more than his own life, and he would gladly take his pain as his own if he could. Not that Javi would want that. He sighed. These flights gave him too much time to think, and wonder, and worry. Javier scrubbed his hand over his face, and realized, he probably hadn't shaved in a couple days. He shook his head and laughed at himself. He was barely holding everything together.

As he headed down the stark hospital corridor towards the cramped room that housed Javier and the young marine who roomed with him, he heard the familiar lilt of Javier's accented voice, and of others laughing at whatever he'd said. Walking through the doorway, Javier was obviously telling some grand story, with his arms gesturing wildly and his face animated. Jaxx's breath caught in his throat. Javier looked almost back to normal. A little thinner, a short jagged scar marring his forehead near the hairline, but to see him in such high spirits was amazing. At that moment, Javier looked up and caught Jaxx staring at him. He stopped telling his story, and a huge grin washed over his face. "Amor mio, come. I want to introduce you. Jaxx, this is Lance Corporal Danny Jones' parents, Vera, and Sam. Vera and Sam, this is my other half, Ajaxx Papalakis."

Vera and Sam looked like the stereotypical well dressed middle-class couple. Vera was petite and absoultely dwarfed by her much taller husband. . Jaxx was a little surprised to be swept up in Vera's bone-crushing hug, "Well, now, if you aren't just about the prettiest man I ever did see. Why if you had just a little bit more facial hair, you'd look just like Jesus." Jaxx looked up at Javier in amusement, while Javier snorted with barely contained laughter. Sam, broke in, gently prying his wife away from Jaxx. "Now, honey, you don't want to scare the boy." He thrust out his hand and Jaxx, "I'd apologize, but she's right, you do look a lot like um... " He trailed off with pink cheeks.

Jaxx laughed, "Its nice to meet both of you." He made his way over to Javier's bedside and twined his fingers with that of his lover as he dropped a chaste kiss on the other man's lips. He turned back to the older couple, to find Vera with her hand on her heart like she'd just witnessed the most romantic thing. "Oh how precious. Its so nice to see that you boys don't have to hide anymore." Jaxx was a little surprised at the instant acceptance, but was happy that it wouldn't be an issue for them. Both Javier and himself had hid for long enough. "Didn't I tell you, he was handsome, Mrs. Jones?" chimed Javier. Jaxx caught Sam's eye, and they both rolled their eyes.

Sam grabbed Vera's arm, and led her towards the door. "We are headed for lunch while Danny's in physical therapy. You two enjoy your time together." Jaxx watched as some unspoken "thing" passed between the couple and Javier. As soon as the couple cleared the room, the door clicking behind him, Jaxx turned to his lover. "You look good, baby. Did they finally get the infection under control." Jaxx, out of habit began to start assessing Javier, much as he would a patient. Javier's sudden grip on his arm stopped him. "Jaxx. Sit. We must talk. I am not your patient. "  Jaxx backed off, and dropped into the chair next to Javier's bed and waited expectantly.

Javier took a deep breath, and said, "I have something to tell you. They couldn't get the infection under control, and I was so frustrated with being in this damn bed. Early this week they took the leg."

Jaxx felt like his breath had been yanked from his body. Why didn't the doctor tell him, why didn't Javier tell him before now? It took him a minute to register that Javier was still talking, "... My choice to have it cut off. I understand if you don't want to be with someone who will never be..."

Jaxx had heard enough, and he erupted, green eyes flashing, "You would UNDERSTAND!  You would understand if I walked out the damn door because of what? Part of a damn leg? I didn't love the leg, I love you, you idiot! What did you mean it was your choice? "

Javier pulled the other man down for a kiss, carding his hand through his hair and fist in it his hands as he plundered his lovers mouth. They were both breathing harshly when they parted. Javi released Jaxx's hair, and shifted to once again twine their fingers together. "The infection wasn't bad enough that the leg would never heal, but it would never heal right, and I would have pain for the rest of my life. I opted to have it amputated. Its a trans-tib.... below the knee amputation. I'll be able to start being fitted for prosthetics soon. I'll even be able to return to duty if that's what I want."

Jaxx couldn't help but be happy for his lover, even if his heart hurt at the idea of Javier staying in the Army. He knew that Javier was close to having his 20 years in, and having served 10 years himself, he understood wanting to finish his time out, but part of his was pissed off. Hadn't they put their love and their lives on hold for the Army long enough. Hadn't they paid and sacrified enough? Instead of voicing any of that he just pasted on a smile and squeezed Javier's hand.

Grinning, Javier flipped up the left side of his blanket, exposing the gauze covering the stump where his leg had been. Jaxx's eyes filled with tears, and he kissed Javier's hand. "It looks good, not infected. Swollen, but that's expected." Jaxx often reverted to what Javier referred to as "medic mode" whenever the stress of the situation got too much. Javier understood. It was a lot for a family member to take on, and unlike Danny Jones' parents, Jaxx only had himself for support. "Its going to be ok, cariño. We'll make it through this together. Good news is that I should be able to move down to Texas soon."

Fiction: Someone to Watch Over Me Part 3

Jaxx never made it to Germany. The Commander called and notified him that Javier would be transported to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center as soon as he was stable enough. He'd had to undergo surgery to remove as much of the shrapnel in his torso as possible. Jaxx tried to tune out all the medical knowledge he'd gained over the years. He wasn't a nurse here. He was a loved one waiting for news, just like everyone else. It made it worse to know the medical implications of everything. The flare of hope was dimmed by the suffocation of reality. 

For days, he had plenty of time to think while waiting in the room at the Naval Lodge for Javier to arrive from Germany. He thought of all the things unsaid between him and Javier. All the covert looks, and the steamy emails they sent to each other.Not to mention the “old friend” staying over visits. Over the last 4 years, since he'd left the military, they'd become close. Jaxx knew Javier was IT for him. He was the ONE. Javier wasn't there yet, and with the military being the way that it was, he wasn't sure that Javier would ever be in the same head space. It seemed pretty shitty that he'd have to wait another six years to really be with the man he loved. The man, if he was honest with himself, that he'd been in love with for the last 14 years.He just wanted to see him. He just wanted to tell him how much he meant. He couldn't lose him, not now.

No amount of preparation could have truly prepared him for what met him at the hospital. He barely recognized his friend. Under layers of bandages, Javier's pain glazed eyes blinked up at him. Javier's mouth pulled into a semblance of a smile, despite his obvious discomfort.

“So Jesus, I have to get blown up, for you to visit?”

Jaxx frowned, “Jesus?”

Javier let out a coughing laugh, followed by a groan, “the hair. You look like Jesus. Good thing I'm not closer to dead, that might be enough to send me over.” The talking caused Javier to start coughing again, bringing Jaxx to his side to clasp an undamaged hand. Carefully Jaxx brushed the tears off of Javier's face. “If you wanted to see me, you just had to say so. You didn't have to go to so much trouble to get me here.”

By this time, Jaxx could feel his own tears leaking down his face. He wanted to bury his head in Javier's neck and hold him close, but he couldn't. He feared hurting him. Javier's hand tightened around his. “Shhh. I'm lucky. It will be okay, querido.”

At that moment a nurse came in and pursed her lips at the men. “I'm sorry, sir, but we need to run some tests, so you'll have to leave. May I ask what your relationship to Sgt First Class, Jimenez is?”

Jaxx's back stiffened and he was about to snarl at the nurse when Javier squeezed his hand harder, and said, to both Jaxx and the nurses surprise, “He's my partner. He has my medical power of attorney.” Jaxx lifted an eyebrow at Javier, that indicated they'd be discussing this later. Then he leaned forward and brushed a soft kiss over Javier's battered face, before letting Javier's hand go, and stepping outside the room.

Fiction: Someone to Watch Over Me Part 2

2012

Jaxx raised a hand to the flight crew as he headed off of his 24 hour shift. After getting out of the military, he put his RN certification to use, and decided to pursue the civilian training to do pretty much the same job that he did in the military, a flight nurse. It was a little different on the civilian side, as he seen more pediatric patients then he ever did in the military.

Jaxx reached his jeep and flung his bag into the passenger seat, as he slid his weary body behind the wheel. Now he just had to make it the 25 minute drive home, and he could start his 3 days off. It had been a relatively quiet shift, a few transports, but nothing that was overly involved. He took a minute to rest his head against the steering wheel before poking the keys into the ignition and starting the Jeep. He was just about to pull out of the lot, when his phone started ringing. Not being one to take chances and talk on the phone while driving, he put the jeep back into park, before checking the caller ID. A grin sliced across his face, as he answered the call.

“hey buddy! Hows the mountains treatin ya?”

“Jaxx?” the whispered voice on the phone waivered, as if threatening to crack.

“Mac? What's wrong?” Jaxx was instantly alert, his hand gripping the phone, as if it could connect him with his friend.

Mac took a ragged breath, and said, “We were hit bad. Javier...” Mac's voice broke, and Jaxx could hear his friend struggling for control.

Jaxx closed his eyes, and took a deep breath of his own, knowing that he had to hold it together. The world around him shrunk to the confines of the jeep, everything else faded. “How bad, Mac? He's got to be alive, otherwise you'd be on a blackout. How bad is it?”

Jaxx, reminding him that their friend was still alive seemed to shake Mac out of his grief, “Its bad. An IED hit our convoy. Hit Javier's hum-v. He would have been ok, but once he started pulling guys out, another one detonated near him. He took a lot of shrapnel to his back. I'm not sure if he'll keep his legs. They said as soon as he stablizes they'll send him on to Germany. This is all unofficial, the commander should be calling you soon with official word.”

Jaxx was trying to process everything, but the only thing that proccessed immediately was the last part. “Why the fuck would the Commander be calling me?”

Mac sucked in a breath, “Javier didnt tell you? You are his will as being his next of kin.”

That revelation made Jaxx swallow hard, as he heard a beep signalling he had another incoming call. “I think that might be the Commander now. Um, thanks Mac for calling me and telling me. Keep your head and ass down. Stay safe.”

Mac uttered a quick, “Will do.” and ended the call, freeing Jaxx to answer the incoming call.

“Ajaxx Papalakis, can I help you?”

The Commander quickly introduced himself and went on to explain the situation with Javier, which pretty much mirrored the explanation Mac gave. Jaxx knew that asking medically pertinent questions would probably be lost on the officer, so he didnt bother. “When is Sgt. First Class Jimenez going to be transferred to Germany and what is the protocol for me being able to meet him there?”

After Jaxx had gotten all the information he needed, he ended the call and for long moments just looked at the phone in his hand. The wall paper a photo of Mac and Javier that they'd sent a couple of weeks ago from somewhere in afghanistan. “Fuck!” He slammed his free hand against the steering wheel and began to shake, great heaving sobs working their way up from some unknown place. He cried for what seemed like forever, but was probably only a few minutes. Wiping his eyes, he turned off the Jeep, and headed back inside work to request time off. Javier needed him, and that was all that mattered, sleep could wait.

Soldiers Kid (POETRY NEW)

My soon to be Ex-Husband is currently serving his 3rd tour overseas.  He is one of my best friends, and the father of my 3 children. This was written in honor of him, and our three monsters. The military family makes sacrifices that few can understand, and even fewer can endure. They are an amazing bunch of people that I have been very very blessed to count myself a part of my entire life. As I am getting ready to sever most of those ties, it is with bittersweet emotions. Thank you Military servicemembers, and your families for the prices you are willing to pay for an oft times ungrateful nation.  ~CarrieAnn~

Soldier's Kid

Daddy has been really busy. Mommy says he's going far away.

I know its his job, and he has to go. But I wish that he could stay.

Daddy is a soldier, and he's been called to war.

Its Daddy's job to serve on a far and very distant shore.

I try to be brave, and not to cry, but its really hard to do.

Daddy says not to worry, because he's crying too.

Its only for a year or so, and we'll write, and call.

We'll get to see him on webcam, but I still wish he was down the hall.

Daddy's getting on the bus to take him to the plane.

We cry and hug and Mommy tries to be brave.

We stand and watch until the bus gets too hard to see.

Its hard to be a Soldiers kid, but I'm so proud of my Daddy. 

© CarrieAnn  2011 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED