Road Trip and Tattoos

Well, I'm sure a lot of the people that read this blog know, I recently took a family trip to Pennsylvania from Missouri. My father and I took the 5 grandchildren (my 3 and my sister's 2) to PA for my Grand da's 80th birthday celebration. It was a surprise, so we snuck into town, with only my Aunt and Uncle knowing we were coming. It was a 2 day drive (a total of 20 driving hours) with 5 kids, all aged 9 and under. WHEW! Actually the kids were pretty good, all things considered.

I was very apprehensive about this trip. I didn't want to answer any questions about my marriage (or impending divorce) There are a million reasons for it, and while the lying, cheating, and PTSD are MAJOR factors in it, so is the fact that I was never happy because he was a man. Of course, my family is very conservative. Especially in regards to homosexuality. I don't know that I will ever be "OUT" to them. I will say that I don't think I'm the only one, and that it saddens me to think that, that person might never be able to be themselves. At any rate, the questions were kept at a minimum, and seeing my GrandDa celebrate his 80th birthday was pretty awesome. Seeing the look on his face as he rounded the corner and seen my Da was PRICELESS. My Grand Da was definitely overjoyed to have all 4 of his children together, especially for a happy occasion. The last time they were all together was for my Gram's funeral in 2004.

We returned yesterday, and my feelings are bittersweet. So happy to have seen my cousins and connect to them all as adults. So happy to see my Aunts and Uncles, my Grand Da and his wife. So incredibly sad that the time was so short, and that I have no real plans to return there soon. I'm also sad that I felt like I was keeping myself back from them, skirting issues and politics because we don't see eye to eye.

On a happier note... I am going this week to make an appointment about a tattoo.  My friend, Vida, who is amazing and awesome and absolutely a beautiful person inside and out, drew out my tattoo. The one I've been wanting for about 2 years now. She took my idea of wanting a Motherhood knot with the Tree of Life, and she made it so much better, adding things that I didn't know it needed. I am so looking forward to putting her work on my body. It couldn't possibly be more perfect.