Finding Myself
I have found myself only in glimpses.
In small sections of clarity that never last.
The essence of me is just out of reach
Even at its closest too elusive to grasp.
I wear many labels sometimes jumbled together.
Woman, Daughter, Lesbian, Mother.
Roles that I play for a time perhaps
Writer, Poet, Dreamer, Musician, Lover.
I spend so much time alone
Spinning the wheels of my mind.
Frustrations build as I am still seeking.
Sometimes wondering what I hope to find.
Its hard to love what I don’t understand.
To embrace this person that I see.
I want to, but at times I see only the flaws.
I need to let go I guess and just be me.
There isn’t choreographed steps of what is.
There are no lines to be read.
There isn’t a clear cut path to follow.
I shouldn’t care what is said.
Like everyone else I am searching
Figuring it out as I go along
It doesn’t matter if I find myself.
It only matters that I stay strong.
©2011 CarrieAnn Murphy
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